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Guys, ewan ko kung mababaw lang ako but i found this hilarious. email from: gandionco@hotmail.com
Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted? ----------------- Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?. Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself. ----------------- Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them. ----------------- Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial: Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo? Starlet: Successful naman po. ------------------ Army officer to cadet: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?" "No, sir." "Ok, why?" (anlabo!) ------------------------ Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts. -------------------------- Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes. Class: What?! Teacher! Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles! (Bruce Willis) Class: Aah, Sixth Sense! ------------------------- Sa isang examination: Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper? Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh. ------------------------- A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy. Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success. ------------------------ Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And now she's dead. (Ano daw?!) ----------------------- Heard in a fastfood chain: Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL! ----------------------- Teacher: What is ur name? Student: Dell. Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?) ----------------------------- In a restaurant: Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg? Customer: Side in, side out. -------------------------------------- Mom interviews her daughter's suitor: Mom: What's your course? Suitor: Geo po (for geology). Mom: Ahhh. Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!) ----------------------- Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English) --------------------- Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically! ---------------------- Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly. ----------------------- Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now! ----------------------- Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I! -------------------- Posted in an establishment: None ID, nothing entry. ---------------------- Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a. Student: Miss may "s" yon Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys! --------------------- Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other: Friend 1: Am I raining outside? Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only. --------------------- In an awards night, presentor goes: And the winner for Best Comedy Show is Okay Ka, Pare Ko! of IBS channel 13. (Ever heard of that?) ------------------ Alma Moreno, in her show introduces Nora Aunor who comes in late: Finally, please welcome, the late Nora Aunor.
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